NANON
35 minutes earlier
nanon felt like his life was going good so far. everything was set into place, his family life, his social life, his music career, even the romance aspect of his life, was somewhat blooming with the time he spent with dew. it was nice
too nice. it wasn't right.
it's not that he didn't want to enjoy his current state at life right now. but something bad always followed after. nanon took a deep breath and reassured himself to just live in the moment. then dew opened the passenger door and asked, "ready?" the answer was too complicated to think of for a short amount of time, but for now, nanon only answered, "let's go," and took dew's hand in his.
they walked into the venue together, hand in hand. then nanon saw a lot of cameras. he usually would feel okay with them but when it involved his personal life, he would feel a pit of fear and anxiety inside him.
but it wasn't the case this time. he didn't feel any fear or anxiety. he felt warm and safe instead. nanon looked up to dew's face for a minute and felt a rush of relief.
"i think it's time. i think i could love him," nanon thought to himself and clung himself tighter to dew.
they sat in the table with his brothers, and pluem's plus one, whose name was minnie, the girl who owned a small coffee shop that pluem used to work at in college. it was nice to know that his brother finally moving on from his previous break up and letting people in his life again. as for his other brother, frank, he's just been hard at work now. he had an automotive start-up business which was based in thailand but most of his customers were in japan, so he was travelling to japan a lot. frank's business wasn't really in line with the vihokratanas' tourism business, but hey, who was he to judge when nanon himself wasn't even an entrepreneur like everyone else in his family.
nanon looked to his right, and he saw dew was chatting with prim, while prim was making a gesture looking at what seemed to be her engagement ring with phuwin. it's nice to know that they worked things out and phuwin had changed for the better, except for his dynamic with his twin, gemini. they're still as loud as ever, and bicker a lot.
nanon promised to himself to celebrate pluem's success and let loose. he even ordered champagne with his newly developed crush, because they agreed to let themselves loose tonight.
until they weren't.
both dew and nanon's parents were once again on stage right now. saying that they wanted to announce one more thing. nanon was confused because he thought today was only about the business deal between the vihokratanas and romsaithongs.
"we'd like to ask our sons, dew and nanon to step forward into the stage, please," uncle mile announced with the microphone. nanon was even more confused as to what and why this was happening.
"do you know what they're doing right now?", nanon asked as they both walked to the stage. dew looked unsure at best and just answered with, "let's just see for ourselves,"
they walked together on stage and nanon would be lying if he said that he wasn't nervous. he tried to put his best composure to the world, but he still couldn't help but fidgeting his cufflinks tonight. one that was given to him as a gift from dew. they were beautiful. well, nanon did choose them himself, but still, it was a really nice gesture from dew's part. but the warm feeling inside him didn't last long because of what his papa said after.
"as my lovely husband said earlier, it is true that we'd like to strengthen our cooperation that we'd hope will still going for generations by uniting our families through marriage,"
nanon could feel his smile vanished from his face and he looked to what's in front of him. he saw camera flashes. a lot of them. then he looked past the flashes and saw everybody's face there then focused to their table. the looks on pluem and frank's face. they knew. his whole family knew, yet they chose to not tell him. uncle mile asked everyone in the room to wish his "relationship" with dew to be longlasting and was met with a thunderous round of applause.
what was anxiety and shock that he felt turned into anger. he was mad that no one even thought to tell him when this was something important for his future. once the applause and the euphoria rush in the room ended, nanon walked out of the venue. he was too mad to face anyone right now. even dew. he just needed to be left alone because clearly, no one in his life ever thought to leave his personal life alone.
***
nanon was walking around the hotel, trying to find a place for himself. he found a secluded corridor that he thought was empty, until he heard some yelling. it was a familiar voice too.
"ㅡengagement is still a matter of our future, in case you forgot," nanon realized it was dew's voice. he sounded very frustrated, nanon never heard him like that. he didn't want to listen any further because clearly this was a private conversation between him and his parents. but nanon decided to stay because as much as it hurt him to be left in the dark about the arrangement, dew was in the same position as him. so nanon decided to stay to talk to him afterwards. he started feeling anxious again because they were going to talk, that he played with the cufflink again.
a quieter voice was heard after, but clearly it wasn't that quiet because nanon could hear what was said.
"but, dew, you already knew about the arranged marriage and the bethrotal, there's no needㅡ",
"he knew too?", nanon thought to himself. he didn't know why but he felt betrayed. eventhough it shouldn't be that hurt.
oh yeah, that's right, you already let him in.
***
nanon found a piece of calm in the midst of it all in the hotel's rooftop. he had a thought to leave but then remember that he went there with dew and all of his stuffs were left in his seat, including his phone and his wallet. so here he was, sitting down on an abandoned bench, looking at bangkok's city lights.
after being in his own mind for a little bit, he actually just realized how stupid and naive he was. the fact that dew had been around him. since he was younger. how close their parents were. even with their social status and how rare families with their level of wealth and influence were in the whole country. he should've had known that arranged marriages weren't really rare in their circle.
nanon might've known it much earlier, but he just chose to not acknowledge it.
but when he remembered the fact that basically everyone beside him knew and they decided to not tell him when it was related to his future. his parents really thought to give their son away to their business partners without consulting to him first. his brothers, pluem and frank, kept this as a secret from him. nanon was almost 100% sure that pakin, his best friend, also knew about the situation since he basically lived in vihokratana residence and was told to keep it a secret.
that left him with dew. in the last few months that nanon had been talking to him intensely, he could gather that dew was a decent human being. he also treated nanon in a way that no one had treated him for a while. nanon was somehow glad that it was dew and not someone else.
"but he also knew", nanon thought to himself and felt close to tears once more. he was being lied to by everyone that he loved.
nanon let out a loud sob when he heard the door to the rooftop behind him was being opened harshly. without even having to turn his back, he knew who it was.
"this place is occupied. if you're looking for a place to be angsty about our future marriage, my dear bethrothed, i suggest for you to look for other places," nanon said sarcasticslly with his back to dew.
"nanon, iㅡ",
"if you're going to say that you're sorry, just save it. i don't need anyone to pity me," nanon could feel dew was walking closer toward his bench and with that, his heart also beat faster. he didn't have the headspace nor the heart to face dew at that moment. he still refused to look at dew's direction when he sat next to nanon on the bench.
"i'm not going to apologize because i know i don't have the right to do so and it's okay for you to be mad at everyone. but, what i'm going to say is that, don't be mad for too long at your parents. they only agreed to what mine initiated just almost two years ago," dew started speaking softly. "almost two years ago?" nanon said softly to himself. that was around the time he broke up with ohm. his mental state was all over the place. he was like a walking corpse, one would say. he didn't really interact with anyone, including his parents. the only thing he was focused on doing after finishing his bachelor's thesis was finishing his album. that's how he got close to bright during the time.
now, when he put himself inside his parents' shoes, nanon understood why his parents would agree, other than from the business standpoint that was. no parents would want to see their children live the way nanon lived at the time and they thought that for nanon to have someone who hopefully can take care of her was the right thing to do. and his papa and papi weren't wrong for that.
"yes, almost two years ago. so it hasn't been a long time. but, yes, i do have to admit that i've known it for quite some time now," dew answered nanon's rhetoric question. "how long have you known?", nanon now turned himself to dew to catch any lies coming out of dew's mouth. "i realized something was up in highschool. my dad and papo were always talking about you, after they found out my feelings for you, so theyㅡ"
"i'm sorry, but your feelings for me?", nanon almost sure where this was going to and his heart was beating really fast. but he didn't want to get his hopes up before dew actually said it to him.
"well, i guess i should just say it now that it's out. i love you, i have been for a while. i'm sorry that it took one hell of a disaster for me to finally tell you. there's no other excuse for that other than me being a coward. it won't be like that though going forward, if you let me, " dew confessed his feelings to nanon genuinely and carefully, and nanon could see it all in his eyes. yet all nanon did to dew's confession was just covering his mouth in disbelief and started crying again.
"wait, what's wrong? i'm sorry, did you hate me that much that what i said made you cry?" dew said frantically and nanon just shook his head.
"no, it's just, why didn't you try to say it sooner?"
dew didn't say anything, he just looked at nanon in confusion. nanon held the sides of dew's face with both of his hands, "i love you too, you fool. sorry that it took this one hell of a disaster for me to realize. but if you confessed to me any sooner, there wouldn't be any drama like this," nanon said with a big smile on his face, the first genuine one in about an hour. when dew changed his expression to what nanon guessed as a realization, he pulled nanon to his chest, and nanon almost instantly hugged him back.
at the moment, it seemed like they let go of all their insecurities, uncertainties, fears, and anxiety. all that's left there was relief, happiness, and love. unconditional love. tears streamed down nanon's face even harder but he didn't feel one bit of sadness. he was happy. he never thought that he would feel this way again. he'd thought he would never be in love again. but dew managed to pull him out of that situation.
they let go of the hug, but their eyes never left eachother. dew was looking at nanon's face in awe, then he said, "may i kiss you?", nanon just nodded and dew pressed his lips to nanon's gently. it was so soft that it blocked out all the senses in him and the only thing nanon felt was the kiss and his heart beating really loud. nanon clung his arms around dew's neck and pulled him closer.
their kiss got deeper and more intimate as the time flew. they didn't know how long they were kissing and who pulled away first, but dew still wouldn't let go of nanon fully, as his hands rested perfectly on nanon's waist. their foreheads touched each other's and their eyes were giving a "high of love" look.
"do you wanna go somewhere? we can go to the beach", dew whispered jokingly in nanon's ear. it was their inside joke, because nanon told him that one time he went to the beach with ohm and it ended in disaster because they got in an argument when nanon's parents pulled up to the beach to "stop their romeo and juliet act". it's nice that he could look at it with a laugh now.
nanon rolled his eyes, "beaches are overrated, what about playing video games or watching movies in my condo? we can eat instant ramen noodle too," he was looking at dew with pleading eyes, and with that look, dew stood up instantly. "well, what are we waiting for? i'm know a way out of here without being caught by anyone. let's go!", dew pulled nanon's hand and they were both running happily, with their hysterical laughs complementing their mood at the moment.
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